...sookay kaast...

One day my mind wandered and I started thinking about what would happen after death. I was thinking about how I have read in the Guru Granth Sahib Ji and heard about and have been taught about what kind of state of mind and attachment to naam and what kind of kirpaa from Vaheguru it really takes for the jot inside of us to coalesce back into the source of its creation. I, in no way, fit that description and am so behind in the kind of naam di kamaayee I think it might take to reach Vaheguru. I started thinking, if I am to return to this world, what are the chances of being blessed with this human body again? I searched “human body” in sikhitothemax and every other shabad is about the preciousness of this life in this body and how difficult it is to obtain this form.

ਗੁਰ ਸੇਵਾ ਤੇ ਭਗਤਿ ਕਮਾਈ ॥ ਤਬ ਇਹ ਮਾਨਸ ਦੇਹੀ ਪਾਈ ॥
ਇਸ ਦੇਹੀ ਕਉ ਸਿਮਰਹਿ ਦੇਵ ॥ਸੋ ਦੇਹੀ ਭਜੁ ਹਰਿ ਕੀ ਸੇਵ ॥੧॥
ਭਜਹੁ ਗੁਬਿੰਦ ਭੂਲਿ ਮਤ ਜਾਹੁ ॥  ਮਾਨਸ ਜਨਮ ਕਾ ਏਹੀ ਲਾਹੁ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
ਜਬ ਲਗੁ ਜਰਾ ਰੋਗੁ ਨਹੀ ਆਇਆ ॥ ਜਬ ਲਗੁ ਕਾਲਿ ਗ੍ਰਸੀ ਨਹੀ ਕਾਇਆ ॥
ਜਬ ਲਗੁ ਬਿਕਲ ਭਈ ਨਹੀ ਬਾਨੀ ॥ ਭਜਿ ਲੇਹਿ ਰੇ ਮਨ ਸਾਰਿਗਪਾਨੀ ॥੨॥
ਅਬ ਨ ਭਜਸਿ ਭਜਸਿ ਕਬ ਭਾਈ ॥ਆਵੈ ਅੰਤੁ ਨ ਭਜਿਆ ਜਾਈ ॥
ਜੋ ਕਿਛੁ ਕਰਹਿ ਸੋਈ ਅਬ ਸਾਰੁ ॥ ਫਿਰਿ ਪਛੁਤਾਹੁ ਨ ਪਾਵਹੁ ਪਾਰੁ ॥੩॥
ਸੋ ਸੇਵਕੁ ਜੋ ਲਾਇਆ ਸੇਵ ॥ ਤਿਨ ਹੀ ਪਾਏ ਨਿਰੰਜਨ ਦੇਵ ॥
ਗੁਰ ਮਿਲਿ ਤਾ ਕੇ ਖੁਲ੍ਹ੍ਹੇ ਕਪਾਟ ॥ ਬਹੁਰਿ ਨ ਆਵੈ ਜੋਨੀ ਬਾਟ ॥੪॥
ਇਹੀ ਤੇਰਾ ਅਉਸਰੁ ਇਹ ਤੇਰੀ ਬਾਰ ॥ ਘਟ ਭੀਤਰਿ ਤੂ ਦੇਖੁ ਬਿਚਾਰਿ ॥
ਕਹਤ ਕਬੀਰੁ ਜੀਤਿ ਕੈ ਹਾਰਿ ॥ ਬਹੁ ਬਿਧਿ ਕਹਿਓ ਪੁਕਾਰਿ ਪੁਕਾਰਿ ॥੫॥੧॥੯॥

gur sayvaa tay bhagat kamaayee || tab ih maanas dayhee paayee ||
iss dayhee kao simrehi dayv || so dayhee bhaj har kee sayv ||1||
bhajhu gobind bhool mat jaahu || maanas janam kaa ayhee laahu ||1||rahaao||
jab lag jaraa rog nahee aayaa || jab lag kaal grasee nahee kaayaa ||
jab lag bikal bhayee nahee baanee || bhaj layhi ray man saarigpaanee ||2||
ab na bhajas bhajas kab bhaayee || aavai ant na bhajiyaa jaayee ||
jo kichh karehi soee ab saar || phir pachhutaahu na paavahu paar ||3||
so sayvak jo laayaa sayv || tin hee paayay niranjan dayv ||
gur mil taa kay khulahay kapaaT || bahur na aavai jonee baaT ||4||
ihee tayraa aosar ih tayree baar || ghaT bheetar too daykh bichaar ||kahat kabeer jeet kai haar || bahu bidh kahio pukaar pukaar ||5||1||9||

Serving the Guru, devotional worship is practiced. Then, this human body is obtained.
Even the gods long for this human body. So vibrate that human body, and think of serving the Lord. ||1||
Vibrate, and meditate on the Lord of the Universe, and never forget Him.  This is the blessed opportunity of this human incarnation. ||1||Pause||
As long as the disease of old age has not come to the body, and as long as death has not come and seized the body,
and as long as your voice has not lost its power, O mortal being, vibrate and meditate on the Lord of the World. ||2||
If you do not vibrate and meditate on Him now, when will you, O Sibling of Destiny? When the end comes, you will not be able to vibrate and meditate on Him.
Whatever you have to do - now is the best time to do it. Otherwise, you shall regret and repent afterwards, and you shall not be carried across to the other side. ||3||
He alone is a servant, whom the Lord enjoins to His service. He alone attains the Immaculate Divine Lord.
Meeting with the Guru, his doors are opened wide, and he does not have to journey again on the path of reincarnation. ||4||
This is your chance, and this is your time. Look deep into your own heart, and reflect on this.
Says Kabeer, you can win or lose. In so many ways, I have proclaimed this out loud. ||5||1||9||

I think that the shabad’s translation—even sikhitothemax status—is pretty self-explanatory. And scary. The time is NOW. How many times must the guru tell us? If not now, then when? It was shabads such as this one that support the idea that the human life is a very, very precious opportunity. But what if we miss the mark? None of us can even comprehend what kind of bhagtee it takes to attain muktee. We are taught that the true liberation is attained while still on this earth, while still in this life. None of us come close to that supersayan-esque bhagat status. If we even think we know what it takes, then that ego-of-thought in and of itself proves that we aren’t there yet. Okay, no pressure. If I fail now, I’ll have to go through only like a zillion other lifetimes until I’m human again, right? And—oh my Vaheguru—what if I’m not Sikh? Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against any other religion—Guru Nanak Dev Ji says: 

ਛਿਅ ਘਰ ਛਿਅ ਗੁਰ ਛਿਅ ਉਪਦੇਸ ॥
ਗੁਰੁ ਗੁਰੁ ਏਕੋ ਵੇਸ ਅਨੇਕ ॥੧॥
ਬਾਬਾ ਜੈ ਘਰਿ ਕਰਤੇ ਕੀਰਤਿ ਹੋਇ ॥
ਸੋ ਘਰੁ ਰਾਖੁ ਵਡਾਈ ਤੋਇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

chhia ghar chhia gur chhia updays ||
gur gur ayko vays anayk ||1||
jai ghar kartay keerat hoay ||
so ghar raakh vaDaaee tohi ||1|| rahaao ||

There are six schools of philosophy, six teachers, and six sets of teachings.
But the Teacher of teachers is the One, who appears in so many forms. ||1||
O Baba: that system in which the Praises of the Creator are sung
-follow that system; in it rests true greatness. ||1||Pause||

So yes—you can obtain Vaheguru with other religions, as long as you are on the path of Truth [with a capital “T”]. But as a Sikh, I believe in the universal Truths contained within the Guru Granth Sahib Ji and, understandably, cannot imagine myself on any other path. Anyways, I DIGRESS.

My point is that I had this moment of fear. My tiny peanut-brained consciousness was trying to take on these humongous theological thoughts and it freaked me out. Of course the Divine within me thirsts for reunion with the ultimate Divine. Of course there’s going to be a sense of longing, fear, and hope. These are all conditions of the soul that gurbaanee talks about. As I was thinking all these things, however, the magic of the-right-shabad-at-the-right-time happened. The following began to play on my SikhSangeet app:

ਗਉੜੀ ਬੈਰਾਗਣਿ ਮਹਲਾ ੧ ॥
ਹਰਣੀ ਹੋਵਾ ਬਨਿ ਬਸਾ ਕੰਦ ਮੂਲ ਚੁਣਿ ਖਾਉ ॥
ਗੁਰ ਪਰਸਾਦੀ ਮੇਰਾ ਸਹੁ ਮਿਲੈ ਵਾਰਿ ਵਾਰਿ ਹਉ ਜਾਉ ਜੀਉ ॥੧॥
ਮੈ ਬਨਜਾਰਨਿ ਰਾਮ ਕੀ ॥ ਤੇਰਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਵਖਰੁ ਵਾਪਾਰੁ ਜੀ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
ਕੋਕਿਲ ਹੋਵਾ ਅੰਬਿ ਬਸਾ ਸਹਜਿ ਸਬਦ ਬੀਚਾਰੁ ॥
ਸਹਜਿ ਸੁਭਾਇ ਮੇਰਾ ਸਹੁ ਮਿਲੈ ਦਰਸਨਿ ਰੂਪਿ ਅਪਾਰੁ ॥੨॥
ਮਛੁਲੀ ਹੋਵਾ ਜਲਿ ਬਸਾ ਜੀਅ ਜੰਤ ਸਭਿ ਸਾਰਿ ॥
ਉਰਵਾਰਿ ਪਾਰਿ ਮੇਰਾ ਸਹੁ ਵਸੈ ਹਉ ਮਿਲਉਗੀ ਬਾਹ ਪਸਾਰਿ ॥੩॥
ਨਾਗਨਿ ਹੋਵਾ ਧਰ ਵਸਾ ਸਬਦੁ ਵਸੈ ਭਉ ਜਾਇ ॥
ਨਾਨਕ ਸਦਾ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਜਿਨ ਜੋਤੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਸਮਾਇ ॥੪॥੨॥੧੯॥

gaurdee bairaagan mahalaa 1 ||
harNee hovaa ban basaa kand mool chuN khaao ||
gur parsaadee mayraa sahu milai vaar vaar hao jaao jeeo ||1||
mai banjaaran raam kee || tayraa naam vakhar vaapaar jee ||1|| rahaao ||
kokil hovaa amb basaa sahaj sabad beechaar ||
sahaj subhaa-ay mayraa sahu milai darsan roop apaar ||2||
machhulee hovaa jal basaa jee-a jant sabh saar ||
ourvaar paar mayraa sahu vasai hao milaogee baah pasaar ||3||
naagan hovaa dhar vasaa sabad vasai bhao jaa-ay ||
naanak sadaa sohaagaNee jin jotee jot samaa-ay ||4|| ||2|| ||19||

Gauree Bairaagan, First Mehl:
What if I were to become a deer, and live in the forest, picking and eating fruits and roots - by Guru’s Grace, I am a sacrifice to my Master. Again and again, I am a sacrifice, a sacrifice. ||1||
I am the shop-keeper of the Lord. Your Name is my merchandise and trade. ||1||Pause||
If I were to become a cuckoo, living in a mango tree, I would still contemplate the Word of the Shabad. I would still meet my Lord and Master, with intuitive ease; the Darshan, the Blessed Vision of His Form, is incomparably beautiful. ||2||
If I were to become a fish, living in the water, I would still remember the Lord, who watches over all beings and creatures. My Husband Lord dwells on this shore, and on the shore beyond; I would still meet Him, and hug Him close in my embrace. ||3||
If I were to become a snake, living in the ground, the Shabad would still dwell in my mind, and my fears would be dispelled. O Nanak, they are forever the happy soul-brides, whose light merges into His Light. ||4||2||19||

“Woah” moment right there. Here I was thinking about how—even though I wouldn’t be conscious of it—it would be possible to think about Vaheguru if I am given a different joon  and the answer was presented by Guru Saahib immediately! The essence inside of us is a direct part of Truth—capital “T”—and has nothing to do with our identity now. Yes, the human life is precious and is the time that we are given to do our naam kamaayee—earn our way to Vaheguru—but that jot never forgets its destination. It never forgets where it came from and never forgets the pain of separation. “Even if I were a fish,” says Guru Naanak, “I would still remember Vaheguru!” It kind of just snapped me out of the fear. I was thinking in terms of how Satinderpal would feel if she came back as a fish or something. But that identity—Satinderpal—doesn’t mean anything. The essence within has no real form, name, shape, identity, color, etc. Guru Naanak Dev Ji says:

ਨਾਨਕ ਮੇਰੁ ਸਰੀਰ ਕਾ ਇਕੁ ਰਥੁ ਇਕੁ ਰਥਵਾਹੁ ॥
ਜੁਗੁ ਜੁਗੁ ਫੇਰਿ ਵਟਾਈਅਹਿ ਗਿਆਨੀ ਬੁਝਹਿ ਤਾਹਿ ॥

naanak mayr sareer kaa ik rath ik rathvaahu ||
jug jug phayr vaTaayeeahi gyaanee bujhahi taahi ||

O Nanak, the soul of the body has one chariot and one charioteer.
In age after age they change; the spiritually wise understand this.

These lines from Aasaa Kee Vaar are part of a greater idea, but it gives you the idea that the soul simply moves form body to body. I think it was this concept that helped me get over the ego of my identity as THIS WOMAN in THIS BODY in THIS LIFETIME and understand that the soul has its own journey. If in this lifetime enough is not done to reach the goal of liberation, yes it may come back as a deer, yes it might be a bird, a fish, or a snake, but that love for the Divine, that longing for reunion never leaves. Vaheguru has given me the blessing of this lifetime to live as a human and contemplate the Guru’s Shabad. I have access to a treasure trove of Truth and Naam in the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. I hope we all are bestowed with enough kirpaa  to tap into even a fraction of that blessing in this lifetime and are able to understand even an iota of it.

—June 2011